What they said~

Problems ah problems~stay away from me can~!
You bothering me and make me freaking emo recently~
The problem I hate the most made me lost direction~
I asked my friends, what should i do,what their opinion?
The first, my family support me, say that I can try.....
The second person, my lil' sis asked me followed my heart~
What I answered was, what if my heart lie to me?
The third person, my lil' bro asked me just to give up~
I told him is too hard to let go~
The fourth person, my best friend told me the problem is not easy to solve~
I told her, I know about that, but I do not want to give up so easy~if there's no chance,then I just will give up~ I wanna fight for the chances~
The fifth person, my "si gong" asked me to followed my feeling~
What I told him was, what if my feeling also lie to me?

What should I do?
I felt tired if keep doubting~
But I'm the one who do not have the courage to ask you about it~
I'm really a coward~
What about you just say that "you do not have any chances, stop thinking about it!"
Maybe I'll feel more better~
Please just give me death sentence~
Just go ahead and break my heart~!

the truth~

The truth that is what you not going to tell me,
Is it so hard to tell the truth?
You making me hanging in the mid air~
If fly to high make me doubts about the happiness that I have now, whether it will just gone in a second,
If fall down now, I feel so reconciled about it~
What I gonna do now?
I felt so powerless....I feel like falling apart~
Tell me the truth is better than you cover up from me~
What if I discovered it myself, how sad I will be?
You make me lost the direction now~
What if I step out, will it be any negative changes between you and me?
What if I step back, can I just taking back all my feelings towards you?
I knew the truth early before, but it is much more better that come out from your mouth~
Anyway, I still wanna to keep going~give me some strength please, so I can make it better by my own and although fail I'll still happy to have you as my friend.....

YOU think I don't, but I do

I guess that you do not know that I maybe know everything about you
Actually I know more than what you may not expected me to know
Maybe you do not expected me to know, but m still know about it
I'm not that mind actually, I just follow where my feeling lead me
I admit that my heart broke into pieces when I noticed it
Although I guess it before, but I just do not want to believe that may be I'm right
But at last I found out....
I hesitated before whether am I still want to continue,
But the conclusion was I'll stood still where I am until I see that's no chances for me,
Then I'll give up~but not now....
I thought I can stop and take back all what I've give~
But I'm wrong,when the day I step out, is hard for me to step back anymore...
Just like my friends tell me that, you think you can stop just when you want it to be?
It is not so easy at all~ Love is not a thing that you can control and even when you want it to stop then it will stop for you, that's impossible~
So, I decided to wait, don't care how high I fall from, at least I had it before....

ღ ı ssıɯ n os ɥɔnɯ~¡ ღ

stay or leave if up to you

Actually, I regret what I have told u yesterday....
So, there's ur decision to choose whether to stay and pretends that u do not know anything
or
leave as other people will do
I'll respects whatever decision that you make...
By the way just let me know....
What I beg u is please just pretends that u do not know anything and walk away and not to tell....
or
you can pretends that u do not know anything and stay by my side like a friend does....
Am I asking too much from u to do that?
If not...
I'll be the one that knew anything and just walk out from your life, without leaving any trouble for u....
U think which one more better?
If can, please tell me the truth whether that m I luxury too much from u?
I will not do that anymore to you, it hurts me so much and not considering about your feelings....
So sorry to u.....please forgive me.....I do treasure u very much, and really happii having u in my life......
Is that remain friend is much more better and I can have you forever by my side....
M I to greedy and selfish?
What if I lose you now? You're the one that made me looking forwards to everyday and live with hopes....
And u'r the one who took my breathe away as nobody does before....you made my heart beat so fast as I ever had before.....U'r so sweet when u care about everythings~
What u can do now, I have no idea~

everything change~

Is that when we grow older, everything changed for us? That's lotta things that we not dare to do, things that we afraid to think of, things that we are fear to speak out.....Is that because we started to think a lot from different ways or perspectives, and it make us always scared to step ourselves out~ we started to consider about how people view us, did they will talk something bad behind us, how they perceive us and will they mind how we behave and what we had said?

As we grow older, we consider a lot~ we do not have the folly and the impulse that make us do the things that we want anymore~sometimes it is just an easy things, but we make it complicated and hard to complete it.....

I found that sometimes I want to tell the truth but indeed it is not so easy as I thought....Just like I wanna tell you that I really want to try to be with you, but I scared the answer that given by you is not the answer that I want.....I found it really hard for me to open my mouth and tell you about that...It is hard for me to step out.....

Maybe you don't mind what people say behind you, but I mind.....When you found out that you fall in love with the person and people always take it as a opening as they're really innocent that they don't even know one of them had really fall in love....It really hurts sometimes.....

I try so hard to get to know you and understand you, but what I've got was you keep pushing me away~I don't want it to be like this anymore......please try to view it seriously, I know how good you are, but I want to remain this friendship rather than ruined it just to get what I want from you~please listen seriously to what I gonna tell you~♥

did things alwaez follow the way u want it to be?

things alwaez go wrong, doesn't it? you alwaez wish that it can follow what you expected, but it alwaez go the wrong direction and made you feel helpless at the end~

sometimes it really makes me felt sick about that, but what else can I do except from accept it~and "swallow" it myself~I can't even call for help~ who gonna save me?

juz a blink of eye, two years is gonna end and I gonna graduate if everything go through swimmingly (what I wish)~I'm thinking that how long still can I stay by your side? suddenly, felt everything gonna changed, I felt so dread to leave you! even if only one second, I also wish to stay by your side~you make my heart beat, if I lose you, I duno what will be me~! you made my life so meaningful, you made me look forward to everyday~what my life will becomes without you~?

but, you do not belongs to me, who u belongs to, I'm still thinking of it~ I want to know who is the person that be so lucky to be with you~anyway, I wish you happy everyday~although I just can take a look of you back, I'm already satisfied about it~I do not craves for anything else.......

2010, new chapter, the begining~

2010, the begining, exam cumin soon, but I didn't have the motivation to study~left one week for me to revise my subject~please help me~motivation faster cum to me, I need u so bad.....^^(act like crazy)

haiz......I really heartache of something happened, drive me moody and crazy.....felt like want to stab myself~but I won't write it here...it will be a secret.....the secret that only know by myself~ok, forget about it~

let's talk my vacations, where I celebrate my new year, I went to Batu Pahat to have vacations in my friend house, what we do there was we ate lotta
delicious kind of food, went to waterfalls and hot spring, and what we do when we get bored at home-we snapped a lot of crazy photos and even learn to dance sorry sorry by super junior, which learned from my fren's bro.....well, what to say, he's good in dance and posing...wakaka>.<"

shop a lot at there, and buy a shirt and called "family shirt" which our family get it each person, and wear it together when we go out together......watch "alvin and the chipmunks" in the cinema on the new year eve......first time having my new year celebration with all my lovely friends and family members. thanks for da jie family who treat us perfectly nice and good~I really have an unforgettable and nice trip~I miss the porridge so much~hehe~^.^



is time to sleep~gud nite and sweet dreamz~

2010,new year, new wish, a brand new "me"~

2010, will it be a good year for me? of course it is, cause i steps into 2o now, can't waste anytime anymore~have to plan for my future~become a brand new me~haha~but what i want change? actually, i have no idea~~

but here i want to wish all my friends stay healthy, happy, pretty and handsome alwaez~ who are in relationship den please be blissful and stay forever together, who still study, good luck in your study, who want to further to overseas, do take good care and last for myself, FRIENDSHIP FOREVER with all my dearly and lovely friends.......

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL..............



p/s: wish i can graduates....hehe~coz i keep worrying la~pls dun laugh~seriously~