stay or leave if up to you

Actually, I regret what I have told u yesterday....
So, there's ur decision to choose whether to stay and pretends that u do not know anything
or
leave as other people will do
I'll respects whatever decision that you make...
By the way just let me know....
What I beg u is please just pretends that u do not know anything and walk away and not to tell....
or
you can pretends that u do not know anything and stay by my side like a friend does....
Am I asking too much from u to do that?
If not...
I'll be the one that knew anything and just walk out from your life, without leaving any trouble for u....
U think which one more better?
If can, please tell me the truth whether that m I luxury too much from u?
I will not do that anymore to you, it hurts me so much and not considering about your feelings....
So sorry to u.....please forgive me.....I do treasure u very much, and really happii having u in my life......
Is that remain friend is much more better and I can have you forever by my side....
M I to greedy and selfish?
What if I lose you now? You're the one that made me looking forwards to everyday and live with hopes....
And u'r the one who took my breathe away as nobody does before....you made my heart beat so fast as I ever had before.....U'r so sweet when u care about everythings~
What u can do now, I have no idea~

everything change~

Is that when we grow older, everything changed for us? That's lotta things that we not dare to do, things that we afraid to think of, things that we are fear to speak out.....Is that because we started to think a lot from different ways or perspectives, and it make us always scared to step ourselves out~ we started to consider about how people view us, did they will talk something bad behind us, how they perceive us and will they mind how we behave and what we had said?

As we grow older, we consider a lot~ we do not have the folly and the impulse that make us do the things that we want anymore~sometimes it is just an easy things, but we make it complicated and hard to complete it.....

I found that sometimes I want to tell the truth but indeed it is not so easy as I thought....Just like I wanna tell you that I really want to try to be with you, but I scared the answer that given by you is not the answer that I want.....I found it really hard for me to open my mouth and tell you about that...It is hard for me to step out.....

Maybe you don't mind what people say behind you, but I mind.....When you found out that you fall in love with the person and people always take it as a opening as they're really innocent that they don't even know one of them had really fall in love....It really hurts sometimes.....

I try so hard to get to know you and understand you, but what I've got was you keep pushing me away~I don't want it to be like this anymore......please try to view it seriously, I know how good you are, but I want to remain this friendship rather than ruined it just to get what I want from you~please listen seriously to what I gonna tell you~♥

did things alwaez follow the way u want it to be?

things alwaez go wrong, doesn't it? you alwaez wish that it can follow what you expected, but it alwaez go the wrong direction and made you feel helpless at the end~

sometimes it really makes me felt sick about that, but what else can I do except from accept it~and "swallow" it myself~I can't even call for help~ who gonna save me?

juz a blink of eye, two years is gonna end and I gonna graduate if everything go through swimmingly (what I wish)~I'm thinking that how long still can I stay by your side? suddenly, felt everything gonna changed, I felt so dread to leave you! even if only one second, I also wish to stay by your side~you make my heart beat, if I lose you, I duno what will be me~! you made my life so meaningful, you made me look forward to everyday~what my life will becomes without you~?

but, you do not belongs to me, who u belongs to, I'm still thinking of it~ I want to know who is the person that be so lucky to be with you~anyway, I wish you happy everyday~although I just can take a look of you back, I'm already satisfied about it~I do not craves for anything else.......