my thoughts~

I'm so bored now, so I up to blog this time.....i'm bec to my hometown yesterday night, and i had chatted wiv my mum and auntie about some problems of my so-called "habitation".........in previous post i had mentioned that I have a really worst relationship with my housemates, so now, I most recently staying in someplace that provide me lotta of care, warmth and also love~here,I gonna thanks them by my sincere heart for who that always stay by my side~

back to the conversation of my aunt and mum.....actually we discussed about whether I still wanna continue my study to degree or not~but according to my senior, who asked me continue my degree then.....he mentioned that although I am suffering right now for a tough course like that, but in the future I might get a really "payable" job and i might "talent" in my career.....so I'm considering it.....actually, I mentioned about I want to get a job and work to quit study for sometimes, this is because keep studying really will make one's life become dull....but what told by him was work is very suffer, and the suffer is as what that I can't imagine at all......

but, I'm a person who always crave for the freedom~i don't like to be just tie up in one situation~I want make some different in my life......I wanna try and try no matter how pain I have fall, I wanna try and try and make my life to be colourful, I don't care how bad was the result I get from what I wish~I want to light up my life, I wanna try a lot of things......although you try to break my wings, but I don't care......although I really need to crawl towards it, I will do so....I won't give up so easily this time~

marriages

Actually, marriage or not marriage, is that very important to someone? Today, I had my family counseling class, the question that given are " Are you strongly agreed with marriages?" & "Are you strongly disagreed with marriages?" For me, I stood in the "strongly disagreed with marriages", not because i do not likes guy, but I have my own perspectives towards this "marriages" kind of things.....

For me, I don't think that every love couples need to step into "marriages", without "marriages" a couple still can live blissfully ever after.....and what I viewed about "marriages" was just a certificate that proved that I had say goodbye to my single hood, the paper that chained me up, but it doesn't guaranteed that it can make me happy, blissful or loved forever by someone...... Who DARE to say that "marriages" can make both of the spouses will bond together forever?

I said that, not because I choose not to be responsible, but not everyone suit to be "marriage" and not everyone know how to deal with a family or start a family that may have to bear with children......maybe anyone of you will think that this things can be learn, but if you really do not fully prepared yourself to own a family, what will happen in the future, you may hurt someone you do not wish too, you may destroyed a happy family, you may hurt the innocent children.....what do you think? "marriages" is that good? or is that perfect? Please do not think everything gonna be easy as you think, there are a lot of conflicts in it?

For me, dating, marriages and also stayed single had it's own advantages.....but I just feel that marriage is not suit me that lots~

life is fragile~

this month not a really good month for me~somehow i realized that there are a lot of things that we can't dominate at all, i hate this kind of feeling~really frustrated....

within a month, i received two bad news, the first, my uncle passed away.....well, my mum didn't tell me until the day before his funeral, the second was my best friend's dad passed away, i've been informed on the day i come back to KL from my hometown....what a sad month for me, full with sorrowful......

then, i realized that we can't hold all things with both of our hands, although we wish too, when more tightness we hold our hand, the lesser we get, what if you open up your hand, maybe you'll get something out of the blue and maybe the more you get......try to open up your hands, perceive all the things that happened, go through it with the courage that you have, faced it and solve it, if you can't solve it or deny to faced it, then try to put it under the unconscious, as time goes by, and when the day you feel that you have ready to or you have sufficient of mental construction to face and to solve it, then you can make it through....believes in yourself and the faith that you have......

for me, i have a little secret that i kept very deep in my unconscious that i don't really want to talk about or even think about it.....a things that you can imagine it may defame my life.....i can't even faced it until now....i been tried really hard to forget it, but i really can't....it always linger in my mind, it even had changed my mind and perspectives towards some things.....

i had go through a hard times that really made me changed a lot, although i can't go through that time, but i forced too....although i know how much i cherish him and love him, but he still left me, he left me to a place that maybe full of joy,i can't confirm about it, but i knew that he went to a place that really really far from me, a place that can't turn your head back,never ever, a place that called--heaven.......

maybe a person needs to grow matured or learned from a situation that you're not willing too....but, there are no any choices for you to choose it.....if you can choose a things to happen now,what would you choose？for me, i will choose that the time can turn over again, let me go back to the time i wish to, but it is impossible.......except, you may dream about it....cherish what you have now, forget about the unhappiness pass, start to learn to look forwards, don't look back anymore, maybe there are something good that waiting for you to explore it.....although life is short and fragile, but you can make it better and full of meaning......bless you all @ all da' best^^

genting trip~

last saturday i went to genting, the place which i craved it for so long~hehe.....i go with my friends, which we always plan but always failed.......1 year time i didn't visit there.....actually, going there is a good therapy to release my stress, cause i can shout as loud as i can when i playing such an exciting game~wow~really fun~

my happy genting trip~here come the "leng zai" i get~haha~

next target, i wanna crave for my Redang trip~hehe~