nothing alright in my life....

Life really sucks doesn't it?
How you predict you life should be?
Do you always live a life in the way you want?

Huh, but unluckily I am not, the life I live always goes out of my control.....
What can I do?
I never afford anything really good in my life, I just wish too be swimmingly,
did i really greedy?
But i don't think so......

My happy day just get ruined by one brainless guy, who do not think before the words to say....
I'm wondering what's his brain is used for.....
For cheating girls, bragging or something else like ask for money from the parents...
Tell you that you are nobody, you are just a prodigal, someone who are useless.....
So please drag your ass off from my life, I really hate the people like you.....
Stay away from now on!

How deep is the hurts you bring to me, you'll not discovered it....
Now I'll tell you, you make me cry whole night, I'll make you suffer for you whole life.....
So, please watch out yourself!

Really nothings go better since the first time we met!

回忆。。。

今天，10月的最后一天也就是明天就是11月的迈入~突然觉得时间过得好快！总觉得生活没什么色彩，改变和高潮跌起~刚才冲凉时，突然想了一个问题“到底有什么比死亡来的可怕?" 然后，我觉得忘记某件事情很可怕~试想想有一天你突然想不起任何一件事，脑袋一片空白，或是你最重要的回忆消失了——你把你最爱的人的脸忘了，再也想不起，你会怎么做？

想象你的回忆就像墙上的油漆一片片剥落，落到了地上，被一场大雨冲走了，久而久之再也没人想起那道墙最初的颜色是什么~就像我们的脑袋一直被新的回忆和事物有所取代而逐渐忘了旧的~我好怕有一天，我闭上眼睛却回忆不到那张再熟悉不过的样子~

就像有些事值得重来，有些不值得重来也不值得往回看，有些却是你想重来却不能重来的事~人们却往往没有选择的余地，因为一切以有所安排~所谓人要跌到后才会成长，辛苦后才会幸福，失去后才会珍惜，哭过了才会微笑，失败后才会成功~太容易得到的东西，永远学不会珍惜。。。

毕竟享受过程才会找到快乐~我总觉得幸福是用痛苦换来的但有人说那是用你的努力和辛苦的付出换回来的而不是痛苦！这代表每个人看事情的角度并不一样~就像一个人用一个杯子看世界和一个人用万花筒看世界，谁的世界会比较缤纷色彩~

原来，看着自己喜欢的人的背影也是一件幸福的事~但如果有一天你不再属于我，那将会是一个对我来说很美好的回忆，因为你由始至终都不会知道原来我暗恋了你那么久~呵呵~不过，暂时为止我的回忆依然是美好的但还是有坏的，不过它会是我学习的回忆~我至今仍然保存这那些美好的，希望它不要有退色或是被遗忘的一天~

那你的回忆是好是坏呢？想把它保留还是忘了，自己抉择吧！不过还是祝你有美好的回忆~^6^

without an answer & also a reason....

I bought a book few months ago in the book exhibition, last few days I go back to my home and there are damn boring without bringing my dearly laptop along, so I decided to find somethings to do~ In a sudden, the book said " pick me, pick me! " Seems like I heard that so I took it out from the paper bag....What I do next was I turnover the page of the book and after few pages I fall asleep~><"

Yesterday, my class ends at 2p.m~ after i reach home, I became a cleaner and started to vacuum up my room, when I stepped out from my room, Oh my god! I saw the floor are full with hair then I decided to clean it up....What next~I cleaned up the bathroom too~ after cleaned all the things up and I took a shower and took a nap~ I woke up nearly 7p.m....after my dinner, I lay on my bed by doing nothing~suddenly, I heard a sound " take a look on me, please~" I turn my head on and take it up and read it~

It makes me addicted on it.....The book name is " The Pact"~ I keep on reading untill 12.30a.m and is time for me to sleep to prepare for tomorrow morning class.....so, placed the book beside my bed and have my sweet dreams~ What I want to say now is the book is really nice because it catches my eyes on it and addicted to it~

What the book is about? It is about a story about a pair of teenagers that name Chris and Emily, there are best friends, lover, neighbors and even soul mates since they were born. They even have a good life which the both families are good friends. But things changed when the seventeen year old Emily dead with a gunshots wound on the head, and Chris survived~ Chris comes out with words that said " We intend to commit suicide together..." This story are about family, friends, lover and the most important things are " Do we really know and understand our children at all?"

Although, some parts of the story are without answer and also reasons~but it worth to read.....now, I still keep searching for a book that I longs for it "The Turkish Diplomat's Daughter".....

turn around.....and forget it~

Can I? Turn around and forget him? I thought that I can win your heart one day, but what i have seen too hard to achieve.... I thought that I had forgot you just like easy as erased you from my memory~ but it proved that I'm wrong....

Look at me~ if can what I hope is to hear that you say "you hate me"....as long as the words can make me feel that you are hate me and I'll cut off my feeling towards you~ you have the right to be happy and blissful~ but you know sometimes people are selfish and greedy, this is the nature of person....who will so kind to offer the person he/she like to others? If can I hope that you just belong to me~but that is impossible~ I had no choice, so what I can do is let you go~ I swore that I have no courage to tell you what I'm thinking~

Is too hard for me to reach what I want~ask yourself do you ever wonder what a person am I, or even see me through eyes to eyes? I can told you that, it is too bad, you did not ~ Can I just turn my back and if I look back again, can you live happily and blissfully ever after that can make me happy also~ Please remember although you did not belong to me but can you do me the favour? You have the right to chase after what you want and the things belong to you~I'll choose to turn around this time without look back, if there are anything happen then I'll wait around the corner to look after you, whenever you fall apart I'll stay beside of you and stand by you~that's my promise to you~but, is time to turn around and forget~

행복을 기억~또 다른 구석에서, 나는 영원히 당신을 보호한다 보호자~

my thoughts~

I'm so bored now, so I up to blog this time.....i'm bec to my hometown yesterday night, and i had chatted wiv my mum and auntie about some problems of my so-called "habitation".........in previous post i had mentioned that I have a really worst relationship with my housemates, so now, I most recently staying in someplace that provide me lotta of care, warmth and also love~here,I gonna thanks them by my sincere heart for who that always stay by my side~

back to the conversation of my aunt and mum.....actually we discussed about whether I still wanna continue my study to degree or not~but according to my senior, who asked me continue my degree then.....he mentioned that although I am suffering right now for a tough course like that, but in the future I might get a really "payable" job and i might "talent" in my career.....so I'm considering it.....actually, I mentioned about I want to get a job and work to quit study for sometimes, this is because keep studying really will make one's life become dull....but what told by him was work is very suffer, and the suffer is as what that I can't imagine at all......

but, I'm a person who always crave for the freedom~i don't like to be just tie up in one situation~I want make some different in my life......I wanna try and try no matter how pain I have fall, I wanna try and try and make my life to be colourful, I don't care how bad was the result I get from what I wish~I want to light up my life, I wanna try a lot of things......although you try to break my wings, but I don't care......although I really need to crawl towards it, I will do so....I won't give up so easily this time~

marriages

Actually, marriage or not marriage, is that very important to someone? Today, I had my family counseling class, the question that given are " Are you strongly agreed with marriages?" & "Are you strongly disagreed with marriages?" For me, I stood in the "strongly disagreed with marriages", not because i do not likes guy, but I have my own perspectives towards this "marriages" kind of things.....

For me, I don't think that every love couples need to step into "marriages", without "marriages" a couple still can live blissfully ever after.....and what I viewed about "marriages" was just a certificate that proved that I had say goodbye to my single hood, the paper that chained me up, but it doesn't guaranteed that it can make me happy, blissful or loved forever by someone...... Who DARE to say that "marriages" can make both of the spouses will bond together forever?

I said that, not because I choose not to be responsible, but not everyone suit to be "marriage" and not everyone know how to deal with a family or start a family that may have to bear with children......maybe anyone of you will think that this things can be learn, but if you really do not fully prepared yourself to own a family, what will happen in the future, you may hurt someone you do not wish too, you may destroyed a happy family, you may hurt the innocent children.....what do you think? "marriages" is that good? or is that perfect? Please do not think everything gonna be easy as you think, there are a lot of conflicts in it?

For me, dating, marriages and also stayed single had it's own advantages.....but I just feel that marriage is not suit me that lots~

life is fragile~

this month not a really good month for me~somehow i realized that there are a lot of things that we can't dominate at all, i hate this kind of feeling~really frustrated....

within a month, i received two bad news, the first, my uncle passed away.....well, my mum didn't tell me until the day before his funeral, the second was my best friend's dad passed away, i've been informed on the day i come back to KL from my hometown....what a sad month for me, full with sorrowful......

then, i realized that we can't hold all things with both of our hands, although we wish too, when more tightness we hold our hand, the lesser we get, what if you open up your hand, maybe you'll get something out of the blue and maybe the more you get......try to open up your hands, perceive all the things that happened, go through it with the courage that you have, faced it and solve it, if you can't solve it or deny to faced it, then try to put it under the unconscious, as time goes by, and when the day you feel that you have ready to or you have sufficient of mental construction to face and to solve it, then you can make it through....believes in yourself and the faith that you have......

for me, i have a little secret that i kept very deep in my unconscious that i don't really want to talk about or even think about it.....a things that you can imagine it may defame my life.....i can't even faced it until now....i been tried really hard to forget it, but i really can't....it always linger in my mind, it even had changed my mind and perspectives towards some things.....

i had go through a hard times that really made me changed a lot, although i can't go through that time, but i forced too....although i know how much i cherish him and love him, but he still left me, he left me to a place that maybe full of joy,i can't confirm about it, but i knew that he went to a place that really really far from me, a place that can't turn your head back,never ever, a place that called--heaven.......

maybe a person needs to grow matured or learned from a situation that you're not willing too....but, there are no any choices for you to choose it.....if you can choose a things to happen now,what would you choose？for me, i will choose that the time can turn over again, let me go back to the time i wish to, but it is impossible.......except, you may dream about it....cherish what you have now, forget about the unhappiness pass, start to learn to look forwards, don't look back anymore, maybe there are something good that waiting for you to explore it.....although life is short and fragile, but you can make it better and full of meaning......bless you all @ all da' best^^