i hate this part of my life !!!

something happened this recently, it made me thinks a lot of things.....i ask myself what is the meaning of life for me? is that friendship really important for me? i realize i need my family badly recently.....i don't want to go for a counselling sessions again this time....i don't even want to step into the room again....so,i tell my family members about my problems,we discussed and we solved it together.....

actually,i wanna ask about the opinion of you all who read my blog......what do you all expected in your life? for me what i really expected in my life now is all the things go swimmingly and i don't even need to worried about....but it is impossible, life always filled with ups and downs just like a "roller coaster"......

when the time i faced some problem, i always tell myself "joanne, you can go through it, wherever how hard it is"......i believed in myself.....i've been go through the worst time in my life that made me fall apart.....when i just stepped into a new stage of my life, i lost my loved one, my dad.....my dad passed away when i was in form 1,13 years old, that my new journey just started...i blame him for just left me behind without any words.....what i wished was i want him to watch me graduate in college or uni with proud, i want him to bless me when i get married or even get him a grandchild, i want him to see me succeed in my life....but the day he gone, my wished was just blown away by the wind.....

i fight for what i want in my life, now i worked hard in my study to own a good future for my family, my mum,my brothers, my aunt and even myself....my mum work very hard to send me to college,i don't want to let her down, i knew how burden she was, she had to pay my college fees and my youngest brother fees too.....but i won't take is as granted.....i appreciated and cherished it a lot....

even though, i had a lot of good friends and heavenly good family members by my side, buut sometimes, some people existed in your life and they ruined up and messed up your life......this kind of people are really sucks....so please fuck off from my life, you know yourself ,right? or did i need to list out the names of you all? you all will have to pay for what you had done....so please watch out yourself......i really hated those people....anyway, i believed i can go through this because you all, my best friends and my family will always by my side to support me......